The Moon & The 10 of Wands

As a vessel, what do you carry?

I thought about this when I woke up this morning. I had a really upsetting dream-not-dream. (I feel like when we “dream” we meet in the astrals to work things out, see things on a different timeline, heal, and all sorts of things. I don’t believe dreams are brain debris.) This dream-not-dream brought me back to things I’m no longer in the habit of thinking about. They were about my childhood and the cognitive dissonance that I felt on the regular being parented by a mentally ill mother. When I woke up, I was quiet. I felt things that at the time I couldn’t label, but now, so many years later, I can. I felt manipulated, invalidated, and unloved. I am honest with myself, I validate myself, and I am constantly in the work of self-love. I parent myself in these ways now and validate my experiences.

But damn.

Waking up and feeling back into a place that was long ago, will throw a wrench in the day. I checked my calendar, and sure enough, the moon is in Cancer. I’m a Cancer, Pisces, Pisces, so these days for me are usually emotional in some way. The moon is full tomorrow in Cancer. It’s a powerful blast, and Cancer is all about home and family. The illumination of this full moon and what is lit from within the shadows is happening already.

So here we go.

I was talking with a friend and she was channeling her guides. There were 3 and she was one of them, but for now, for this life, she decided to embody a vessel. In this life, she decided to manifest herself a container, a body, and do some experimenting with the filter of the human.

We talked about how she was so emotional and sad at feelings of loss she had because she couldn’t reach her pack while being in this vessel as she had before without it. We talked about how she came to do something with this filter specifically and be different than she normally was as one of her pack. The question was, what was she here to see through this body? This filter? As a vessel, what was she carrying? Her Self. The part of herself that wanted to have this experience and glean knowledge from it in a way she couldn’t without the filter.. but while she’s here, what was she carrying aside from herself?

I asked myself this too and see that I carry all these feelings, feelings and energy that gather, that snowball and grow, and they’re feelings that are not all my own. I took them from my mother. I took them from people around me. Some were osmosed, some were thrown at me, I took them either way. But those things weren’t mine to take. They were for me to figure out that they’re not mine to take.

It’s fascinating and blissfully explosive to me the timelines we’re on, the ones that we share in this life and the ones that we don’t even though we’re interacting, and the Quantum Field of Unified Light that is completely accessible to us for healing.

I know what I’ll be consciously healing, releasing, and carrying today.  I’ll be laying down the responsibilities of others that are not my own. I’ll be releasing agreements that no longer feed my Truth. And I’ll be regaining personal power with reflection this mercury retro, allowing more of my own light in. I choose to carry Light.

Be gentle with you, Goddess.

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