Tag Archives: Indigo Survivors

As the Indigo Travels Through Life

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AthenaSome Indigos fall right into their bliss taking on challenges as warriors

But for some it’s a struggle to become aligned. It can be overwhelming and unnerving when a faulty support system is in place or life seems to create stress that feels unmanageable.

Just recently, my boyfriend, who is a photographer, shared with me some pictures of three kids. Their father had commissioned some individual as well as family portraits of his daughter, who was ascending into her senior year of high school, a son who was in college and another son who was just graduating college.

All three were transitioning into a new phase of their lives. Seeing these pictures made such an impression on me—their laughter, their innocence, and then in more serious pictures, their depth. Their eyes told stories of all-knowing wisdom, yet they were just getting ready, in many ways, to venture off for the first time on their own. Their confidence and curiosity blended with questions about how the world really works, bellowed from their black and white images.

Thinking back to that time in my own life, I realize that I feel freer now, as an adult, than I did when I was first going to college after high school

It took a little experience for me to have confidence in my own voice and find my way through the currents. Some are blessed to see their entire future ahead of them. It took me, however, some time to get my wings.

In “The Book of Secrets” by Deepak Chopra, he uses the example of butterfly metamorphosis to illustrate how everything is One. He explains the process of how the caterpillar builds his cocoon and then morphs into a butterfly, “What goes on invisibly inside the chrysalis remains deeply mysterious.”

We know that the caterpillar actually morphs into a liquid consistency before reconstituting into the body of a butterfly. What Deepak refers to as “One reality” comes from his understanding that there is Universal intelligence at work. Cells, hormones and chemicals know what to do to reconstitute into a butterfly from a caterpillar without being told when, what or how to do so. It is this natural evolution that happens to all of us that we cannot control. Our hearts beat, the caterpillar morphs, the day turns into night, all connected through time and space.

In this harmony of physical evolution and Oneness, we, as humans, experience an emotional and spiritual metamorphosis as well

From child seeker to adult wisdom, we evolve. Indigo children come through this life to shatter illusion and to build truth. As an Indigo adult, their journey continues on another level. Learning and experiencing the world as a child, then growing up and believing in the power to move mountains through courage—this is an Indigo finding their way to divine purpose and Joy.

I can now offer advice that would have helped me on my journey starting out at the age where I thought I knew everything, and in fact, had no idea what was in store. My intent is to assist parents of Indigos and Indigos themselves who are moving to the next chapter in their lives, finding their place in society.

Stay tuned for As the Indigo Travels Through Life — 6 Things I Wish I had known!

 

 

 

The Evolved Indigo—The Warrior

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What is the Warrior?

The warrior is the Indigo who takes one for the team as a victim soul and their personal process of self-protection and the efforts to protect others in their search for truth. Nice and tidy when you say it, but not so while in the trenches. As an adult Indigo survivor, I had to come to terms with my warrior.

My warrior was the fierce Isis, who took on liars and cheaters and thieves without abandon and with no mercy. I saw, many times, only one-sided injustice where dynamics run deep and muddy. I did my job, and I did it well. I broke up families by making truth mandatory and tragedies public when they wanted to brush truth under the rug or bury it in the backyard. I built walls between sisters and was the slayer of child molesters’ once pristine reputations.

For some warriors, it doesn’t end when the physical experience is over. There are psychological repercussions. I feel that I went through a kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was reliving abuse and abandonment over and over and couldn’t let it go—because I felt that if I did, the importance of what I had endured would have been lost.

Letting go of the Warrior’s Initial Job

Triggers can rear their ugly heads when any experience seems threatening. And by threatening I mean anything that has reminiscence of betrayal, feeling emotionally unsafe, or actual abuse. Identifying hot buttons and deciding why some things trigger and other things don’t are important in order to evaluate how they represent present circumstances.

I have learned so much about myself, through my reactions to different situations way after the fact of abuse.  Asking yourself,

“Why does this anger me—make me cry, laugh, or somehow make me remember someone from when I was young.”

Evaluating how you can be real with your thoughts and feelings before you react is extremely important during the forgiving process.

When I realized that my emotions were connected to past traumas of abandonment and abuse and that they had nothing to do with present situations and circumstances, I was able to clearly identify trauma in my life. Thinking about each situation that I’ve reacted to, it’s amazing and fascinating to me that I have carried with me so closely and so deeply and for such a long period of time these traumas without peace. I had been acting them out again and again.

Understanding a Better Way to Create Love

It didn’t have to be through constant repetition of loss and abandonment. It could be through learning from my past and teaching others by what I had experienced. It could be, this time around, through forgiveness.

Through my yoga practice I’ve learned that many times our identity is enmeshed in personal dialog about past traumas. We tend to cling to emotional times that are familiar; yet severing ties from habitual responses is imperative in the process of moving on.

To learn from our experiences, we need to look at our emotional patterns in detail and identify the triggers. We must then make a conscious decision to move away from that pattern and acknowledge every moment when you recognize the pattern resurfacing. Then tell yourself that it is now time to pick up the pieces.

This post is the second in a three-part series.

Read the first: The Evolved Indigo—When the Warrior is Ready to Forgive

And keep a lookout for:

The Evolved Indigo—Forgiveness

Indigo Survivor’s Take on Spiritual Parenting I

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An Indigo Hitting the Bottom of the Spiritual Barrel

I surrendered and begged, “Will you help me find my way? Universe, help me figure it out. Send me in the right direction. Show me my divine right path!”

Finding Hope

I had finally come to my brick wall. The place where I felt I had nowhere to go. I was alone and I felt isolated and directionless. I desperately needed to know what my dreams were and how to recognize my purpose. I felt so confused. A lifetime of dealing with abandonment, low self-esteem, and beliefs based on a family that revolved around an alcoholic patriarch, along with boundary, and shame issues from sexual abuse. I was in no shape to figure out anything.

Picking Up the Pieces Through Synchronicities and Signs

One of the first things I came across while beginning research to seek peace after demanding universal direction was a self-esteem quiz. I recognized that self-esteem issues were getting in the way of my purpose or even being able to identify my dreams. (I was having a problem answering the basic finding-your-dreams question: What did you love to do as a child?) I kept coming up with reasons why my dreams couldn’t be reality. “They wouldn’t work, I’m too old now,” and all of those excuses that hold us  back. Those inner thoughts that stem from what we learn as children.

This quiz, I thought, was the answer—to this part anyway. It will tell me how to fix this problem. The main theme was focusing on all positive aspects, strong skills and abilities that had brought me to where I was now. The idea was to let go of any negative thoughts and beliefs. Stop focusing on all the things you need to improve and only focus on your positive traits, skills and values.

With my background in mind, I asked myself, “What are these skills? How did I manage to overcome these triumphs throughout the years and be here, 33-years-old today and still have some sort of hope and desire to become a better person—to see myself as a successful person.”

A funny thing happened after completing the quiz.
I learned that I had mostly survived by isolating myself and removing myself from uncomfortable situations. Or the very opposite, by being more tolerant of situations than I should have been and staying longer than definitely was healthy, all because I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. I realized those weren’t very positive traits that had gotten me where I was. My need for self-betterment was out of desperation. The self-esteem quiz only validated that I needed more answers.

Epiphany

When the crystal and indigo child card kept popping out of my angel deck practically every time I randomly chose one, my friend, life-long energy healer and psychic medium, Anne Roberts said, “Hon, YOU! It’s YOU! You’re the Indigo child.” I thought about it. I had been told before that I took the guilt and blame for my abusive family, that I was a victim soul of sorts. I had endured hardships in order to help others complete what they had to do in their lifetimes. I was an example so that others didn’t have to go through the same experiences. Author Doreen Virtue wrote that many Indigos go through hard things, like abuse and the leadership of being poster child, and then deal with the fact that people don’t feel the need to protect or save them. Instead they point and judge, “She’s over reacting,” or, “She’s just sensitive, don’t worry about hurting her feelings, she’ll get over it on her own.” All with the same message: She doesn’t matter. Her needs don’t need to be met.

It’s that drama of the Indigo’s life that has a way of clearing the road for crystal children.

I thought, if that’s the case, I better start telling my story and hope it helps someone. With more community awareness, I can only hope that more children don’t go through the difficulties and rejection I did.

This post is one of a two-part series. Be on the lookout for:

Indigo Survivor’s Take on Spiritual Parenting II