Frenemy Mirror Exercise—Forgiveness, Awareness, and Empowerment

A Lesson in Self Discovery

Today I had quite an amazing epiphany while asking for guidance from Spirit. I was very clearly guided to Look at myself, the good, the gifted, the bad, and the ugly…

First, I was guided to pick someone who had qualities that I admire. Qualities that perhaps I wish I exuded or qualities that I already had, but wished were more fully developed, and record them.

It didn’t take too long to pick someone.

• She’s strong (Physically and Emotionally). • She’s directed and knows what she wants, and engages in plans to make it happen. • She’s beautiful, but more importantly, she really takes care of herself : eating, working out, etc. She’s really polished. •That rolls into having great self respect. She believes in herself. • She’s loyal. • She thinks lightly of herself • She speaks her mind—really speaks her truth.

Second, I was guided to pick someone who affects me negatively. Someone who brings out angry feelings, brings me down, makes me make an unintentional yuck face when I think about them, Someone I feel sorry for, and then record those characteristics.

Christian Pinocchio

That wasn’t difficult either. This person popped into my head immediately. She was extremely disrespectful when my mother passed away and it was very hard to get over many events during that time that were caused by her. My list for this part of the exercise was a lot longer than the first…

• Selfish •Vengeful •Manipulative •Insincere •Righteous •Entitled •Mean •Dishonest •Cruel •Disrespectful •Childish •Passive Aggressive •Disconnected •Deceitful •Doesn’t take care of herself physically •Uncaring •Unforgiving •Unloving •Unappreciative •Judgemental •Degrading •Not in control of herself.

Quite a long list. I went back into meditation and continued the inquiry with my guides.

The Reveal

My guides explained that the first list was about aspects that I love about myself and want to enhance. I see them and admire them in the person I chose because she is a mirror for me. A mirror for me to see things that I have within me already. And my guides stressed that it was important for me to acknowledge this.

To my horror, my guides also revealed that the second list of aspects were mirrored back to me as well. Characteristics that I am ashamed of and want to heal that are also in me. The second person, ultimately, was showing me those aspects within myself, those shadow aspects, that I wanted nothing to do with, I wanted to ignore, and not acknowledge—keep it in oblivion—It’s a lot safer in oblivion when you have to deal with a list like that…

Resolution and Oneness Awareness

The first thing I needed to do was forgive myself. Forgive myself for having all of those characteristics within me that had reared their dragony heads at one time or another; characteristics that I was not proud of, that I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had in me.

Next I needed to forgive myself, accept myself as having a human experience, and love myself. I needed to let go of anger, fear, and shame around this.

After that, it was time to reflect on what Oneness Awareness really is. The mirror we are to each other is a gift and if acknowledged, can be one of the most powerful healing tools we can use to bring us closer to our higher selves and to Spirit.

After reflecting, it was time to integrate the empowerment of that healing and awareness; to accept a new way of seeing the lightness and the shadow sides of myself. These feelings and reactions and processes hold immense purpose in their lessons, however hard they may be.

In the End

This is an exercise of acknowledgement, gratitude, and release. I feel it is definitely one of those “onion” exercises where each time you do it, you’re able to lift a layer and “get lighter.” At each step I was making notes of my feelings and giving myself and my resistance Reiki.

Let me know if you try this exercise on your own and how it went for you! Who do you think of when you think of someone who inspires you to be “Better?” What are they like? Now who makes you want to stick yourself with a fork?

One Love!!!


Let Go! Float Cloud 9

Sensory Deprivation… Why in the world would I want that? I’ll tell you!

  • To release tension
  • to experience ultimate relaxation
  • to detox negative or unaligned energies
  • and … to think.

I mean really think. Think or meditate in a way that you may try to think or meditate when you’re at home, but your dog sits down next to you and licks your face and your cat believes the lotus position is actually you sitting silently after moving your body into a new chair just for her and falls asleep in your lap. This is not you-and-your-familiars meditation time.


The tank was very similar to this. PS… That is not me :)

The float tank experience is described by Cloud nine Float Center in Boulder as “Relaxing in outer space.” 

Since the temperature is the same as your skin temp (93.5 degrees), it feels perfectly luke-warmish—Like bath water when you get in, but soon it morphs into seriously feeling like nothing! It does feel like you’re hanging in space. None of your muscles have to engage at all, so you really are just floating there… (800ish lbs of salt is keeping you afloat… You couldn’t sink if you tried.)

No waves, no movement, no sound (If you choose) and no light (also optional), and you’re in a space that I can honestly say is so private and peaceful…

I must mention that I feel you have to be brave.

You have to be able to handle that much alone time with just you—processing thoughts, brainstorming, releasing, forgiving, listening to your higher self, or simply in quiet meditation at monumental levels by floating, motionless with yourself for 60-90 minutes.

I opted for 90 minutes my first experience. I thought I’d experiment a bit with sound and floaties (a floating neck pillow and “under-the-knees” noodle). I found that I did like the neck pillow because, believe it or not, I had a hard time relaxing completely. My neck and shoulders wanted to hold me up—I guess they didn’t believe they would float…

Yes, I need to practice relaxing..

So the pillow helped, I didn’t need the noodle—I asked for the music to fade out after fifteen minutes and then come back on just before the session was over. I realized at the end that I enjoyed the really relaxing angel-y music and I was actually more comfortable with the very dim light inside the tank on.

So apparently, or so far anyway, complete perceptual isolation is not for me just yet. I did have some racing thoughts that consisted of me scream thinking to myself, “Relax! Relax! Move your shoulders down away from your ears! Stop breathing so hard, for god sakes stop thinking so much!”

I gave myself some Reiki and it got quieter eventually :)

Cloud nine is awesome.

I feel it is a tranquil and safe environment, everything you need is there—towels, robes, tea, shower, etc. It has a Spa feel.

When I go again I’ll definitely go in the evening as I did the first time. I have to say, it was an amazing night of sleep I had after floating. I believe this can be a very effective part of meditation practice and relaxing in water is the best thing in the world.

Happy Floating!
One Love Padmes





PPS: I forgot to wear the earplugs. I would definitely suggest wearing them!
PPPS: Check out this video about why this guy likes to float.